Finding My Balance

"In the multitude of words sin is not lacking,
But he who restrains his lips is wise."

One of the many lessons that God has been teaching me over the years is that I don't have to defend myself. As you know quite well(if you know me), I've never lacked for words or for an opinion on anything. So when I am being wronged- truly, truly wronged, I want to defend myself and prove to the other party my innocence, good intentions, etc. But what I am learning is that in many situations, defending myself only makes things worse. When I go on the defense and attempt to prove myself, the other person becomes even more defensive- and we're off to the fight. But when I choose to not defend myself, I change the situation. Just as going limp in a fight tends to defuse the adrenaline in the air, my choosing not to fight back leaves the other person without much room to proceed. It's difficult to have a one-sided fight, isn't it?

The next step is the one I'm struggling with, though. As I was thinking about not fighting, I opened to 1 Corinthians this morning and had to laugh at my reading for the day(1 Cor. 13, reworded by Siegfried Buccholz):

"If I would be able to speak all the languages
and would be a perfect communicator
but could not love people,
I would only produce noise
and would never reach others.

If I love people, I will have patience with them,
I will treat them fairly,
I will not always demonstrate my own superiority.
I will not talk down to others,
I will talk with them, not to them.

If I love people, I can understand their feelings,
I do not always seek my own advantages,
I can control my ego,
I will not dump my anger on others.

If I love people, I will not be resentful,
I will not always remind others of their mistakes,
I will not rejoice when others fail
but will rejoice when others succeed.

If I love people, I will never give up on them,
I will trust them and give them credit.
I will give them hope and encouragement."

The reason that I laughed is because I was beginning to feel proud of myself for not fighting back in a situation and then I read this and God said to me, "Oh, feeling proud about your response, are you? Well, what about LOVE for that person, huh? What about LOVE?" Ouch, God spoke to me today and in a very clear way. "Good job on the not fighting back, but where's the love? Where's the love?"