Heart Issues

I've finally returned to the counseling workbook, "Caring for the Emotionally Damaged Heart." It's the first part of the prerequisites for the intensive counseling seminars that I plan to go through. I began to work on it back in the Spring, put it aside for the Poland/Ukraine trip, picked it back up in late April and put it back down in mid-May. I think I was just pushing myself too hard and too fast after leaving Ukraine to work through some really difficult material. It was too much for me to deal with emotionally at that time, and so I put it aside and read some of the other books dealing with Missionary Care. I still want to do all of the prerequisites and go through the intensive seminars, but I came to the point where I realized that pushing myself to get through emotional material before dealing with my own emotions of the transition, etc., was probably not a wise idea. I still want to get to the next intensive, which is in January, but I'm not going to push myself super hard to achieve that if there are other things that I need to work through first. Having said that, though, I began to have the desire to get back into it while in Texas. So upon my return home Tuesday, I picked it back up. And the interesting thing is that the material that I've worked through the last three days would've been way too much for me to handle back in the Spring. Now I find myself reading it, thinking through it, and being able to handle it in a rational and balanced manner. I'm so thankful for the steps of healing and transition that I can see so clearly now, and for God's work to accomplish them in my life.

This week I've been reading about the issue of being drained emotionally and the pressure patterns of: expectations, the pressure to perform, self-discipline, dominance, and control. In each chapter, the individual issue is broken down into: the characteristics of someone who exhibits that issue; the problems that it creates in his life and the lives of others; how to go about resolving the pain that is in the life of the individual and the pain that he has caused to others; identifying the steps that led to the issue; and taking the issue to God for healing and freedom.

I was particularly interested in a chart about Dominance. If you had asked me if dominance was wrong, I would have said without hesitation, "Absolutely!" It was a good chart for me to see, because I've got some of that in my personality, and I've been working for years on getting rid of all traces of it. But this helped me to see that trying to get rid of natural aspects of my personality isn't necessarily
what I should be attempting to do. I'm still struggling with the idea that good can be found in dominance, but I loved the the balance that was shown in the chart, because it's what I want to strive for.

Dominance Combinations and the Effect They Have on Others

The Bad:
Dominance + High Expectation= Frustration
Dominance + Anger= Overwhelmed
Dominance + Pride= Control
Dominance + Lack of Sympathy= Rejection
Dominance + Rejection = Loneliness

The Good
Dominance + Acceptance= Appreciation
Dominance + Kindness= Encouragement
Dominance + Humility= Openness
Dominance + Sympathy= Loved
Dominance + Acceptance= Respect, Support