The Power of Vulnerability

Vulnerability is the very core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, BUT it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, and love.

-Vulnerability is not weakness, but rather, our most accurate measure of courage.
-Adaptability to change is all about Vulnerability

Vulnerability
-"What makes me vulnerable makes me beautiful."
-Vulnerability is not comfortable....but it is not excruciating, either
-Taking risks when there are no guarantees
-Living a life that does not need to predict and control
-Birthplace of joy, creativity, longing, and love

BUT, our culture, and especially our Christian culture, has taught us the opposite. We shouldn't be vulnerable, because we should just have it all together, right? We can't share what's really going on deep inside of us, because a "true," or "good" Christian shouldn't be experiencing those things. What do we do? We SHAME other Christians into keeping their lies deep in the shadows because of the fear of how we will respond when we find out that they, or their kids, or their marriages aren't so perfect after all.

So, what is the cost when we numb Vulnerability??
Count the cost: We Numb Everything. We cannot selectively numb emotions, and so when we numb vulnerability, we numb joy, and happiness, and love, and care, and trust, and hope, and the list goes on and on. We are the most addicted, obese, and medicated adult population in US history.

Why & How we numb:
*We pretend that what we do doesn't have an effect on people
*We make the uncertain certain
*We blame others as a way to discharge pain and discomfort in our own lives

 Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. http://brenebrown.com/about/ In her research, when she separated the people who had a strong sense of love and belonging from those who didn't, only one thing divided them: a sense of being worthy of love and belonging. Those who had a strong sense of love and belonging believed that they were worthy of love and belonging, while the other didn't. The one thing that keeps people from connecting with others is the belief that they're not worthy of connecting with others. But connection is why we're here. We're created by a relational God to connect with Him and with all those around us, and to bring others into a connection with Him. Connection is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. Shame, on the other hand, is the fear of disconnection. In order for connection to happen, we have to open ourselves up to vulnerability.

Living Vulnerable:
1. Authenticity: Let ourselves be seen
2. Love with our whole hearts, even though there is no guarantee
3. When feeling vulnerable, practice love and joy
4. Believe we are enough- we are loved and accepted by God

To hear some great talks on Shame and Vulnerability, listen to these two links on Ted Talks: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html, http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html. This great stuff- you won't regret taking the time to listen!