The Wheels on the Bus

The scene: a bus. A posted sign says, "22 sitting places, 23 standing places, 45 in all." Now, when they say 23 standing places, they don't mean 23 people standing comfortable with two feet of personal space in between. They mean 23 people squashed together so closely that not only can you smell what your neighbor had for lunch, you can just about taste it, as well. 23 people can indeed stand in the narrow aisle of the bus. They may have no place to hold on to and may be held upright simply by the other bodies; they may be falling out of the bus when the doors open; they may only have room to stand on one foot, but they can indeed fit in. As a matter of fact, there's always room for one more, plus a dog or cat, no matter how packed it appears. A can of sardines has nothing on a crowded bus here.

I am not a big fan of the aforementioned experience. However...it is a way of life here and it is my daily means of transportation. It is very cheap and extremely efficient. I don't have a clue how to get anywhere in Charlotte by bus and yet here, in a larger city, that's how I get everywhere.

Another fun part of the bus experience is paying. You pay when you get off, not when you get on. You go to the front of the bus, tell the driver the name of the stop, pay and get off. That sounds easy enough, right? Well, what if you don't know the name of the stop? In that case, you can just say, "Next stop." Still not too bad, right? Well, what if there are 45 people on the bus and you're at the very back? Now here is where the fun begins. 1st, you have to know the name of your stop to do this, but... you hand your money to the person in front of you and say the name of the stop, the number of people you're paying for, and which door you want opened. The money passes from person to person all the way up to the driver. If he's giving you change, then the money passes all the way back. Miraculously, it's a very efficient system.

Now we come to my very least favorite part of this, which always keeps the ride exciting for me. when the bus is crowded and money is being passed up, I have to pass the money, as well. The vast majority of the time, I don't know the names of the stops that people want and have to listen extremely carefully to what is being said. Sometimes it's said in Ukrainian and sometimes in Russian. I'm always worried that I'm going to pass on the wrong information and then people will start yelling. Plus, I have to open my mouth and instantly people know that I'm a foreigner by my accent or my mispronunciation of what was just said to me.

I've only been back from the States for a couple of weeks now and having moved before I left, I'm now learning new bus routes everywhere. Last week on my way home from bible study, I passed my money up and quickly realized I had said something wrong. I heard, "Tolbuhino, one, rear door." And then in reply, "Tolbuhino?" "Yes, Tolbuhino." As my money moved up the line, I kept hearing this question and I began to be worried. Why were they all questioning the name of the stop that I had said? So I asked the lady in front of me(to whom I had originally given the money) if Tolbuhino was right after the traffic circle, where I needed to get off. It turns out that I needed to get off at Filatovo, not Tolbuhino, which was quite a ways up the road. The reason they were all questioning it was because no one passes their money up 15 minutes ahead of time. I wasn't quite sure what to do about my mistake and jumped up, hoping that when we got to my stop, someone else would also need to get off. I got off the bus chanting to myself, "Filatova, Filatovo, Filatova."

Ah, the joys of living and experiencing life in another country. Anyone want to come visit? I promise I won't put you on the bus by yourself!