The Fog

For the last month our family has been struggling to know what to do, what to say, to encourage and speak words of truth into the life of a loved one. One day things will seem a bit better and the next, they're terrible again. It's been a hard month. I've personally struggled with anger toward this loved one and the selfish choices that have been made that effect so many people. I think I struggle with it because I constantly think about choices and their consequences. It's just the kind of person that I am, that I just simply can't do something that I know will inflict massive hurt on others. I just don't understand.

This afternoon I was continuing to read in the book, "Cross-Cultural Servanthood"(it had a bit of a stay in MT until it was mailed back to me), by Duane Elmer, and the chapter I was reading was titled, "The Servant and Mystery." In it, the author discusses how often things occur that we just can't comprehend, whether it be with the nationals, our sending agencies, our co-workers, or the culture in which we're serving. And he used the picture of fog and sunshine: Foggy Today, Sunny Tomorrow. Sometimes we go through months and months, or even years of fogginess, not knowing why things are happening. Often, the fogginess is brought upon by our own choices(as of my loved one), but other times it comes and we have no reason why.

The not knowing why brought to mind what happened yesterday: one of our former Varsity kids, now a young man of 20 or 21, was driving from Michigan to Charlotte last night with his wife of 7 months. They were in a terrible accident and he's now in a hospital in Ohio, having gone through brain surgery, been put into a medically induced coma, and is now clinging to life. He's alive, barely, but no one knows how much of him will still be there if he survives the next few days. This is not a fog caused by him and his sin choices, but nonetheless, his family will be walking in a fog for months and possibly years.

But here's the truth that we can cling to, whether it be completely trusting the life and choices of my loved one into His hands, or the actual sustaining life that Lane now needs so desperately. This is what I want to say to my loved one and to the Bargeron family in this time of great uncertainty:

"God is trustworthy even when we can't see, feel, or hear Him. He guides us in decisions and promises never to leave us, even when His guidance takes us into the fog, mystery, and suffering. He is there in the fog, He is active, and He is fulfilling His glorious purposes. Our role is to trust- even if it takes years." When the fog threatens our judgment, we must cling to unassailable truths, such as:

*God has promised never to leave me. Therefore God is near even though the fog hides His presence and I fear He may have abandoned me.
*God keeps His promises. In spite of my circumstances and past acts, He does not, will not, and cannot change His mind about walking with me in the mystery times.
*God works His good purposes not only for me, but for all He loves. In life's mysteries He is actively working out His good pleasure for me and for others even though I may never realize it.
*Even if the fog of mystery never lifts in my life, God is worthy of my life and obedience. He may choose not to explain Himself, and I must rest in His wise judgment.
*My responsibility is to walk humbly and faithfully before my just and loving God and within my community.