The Packrat

My grandmother, blessed woman that she is, is a packrat. She keeps the most random things( that cost very little to replace) and uses them over and over and over again. I've always thought this an odd idiosyncrasy of hers, since the vast majority of people in the U.S. would simply go out and buy a replacement. I've always assumed that it's because she's cheap(I'm being honest, so those who love my grandma dearly, don't hate me), but living here has given me another perspective on things.

First of all, I simply can't get everything that I was used to purchasing so easily in the U.S. Ziplock type bags are just being introduced and come only in one size(that I've seen anyway) and are cheap quality and basically worthless. Thankfully, I knew that I couldn't get them here and I brought plenty of all sizes(except large). And I use them, turn them inside out, wash them, and let them dry. I'm also hesitant to give anyone food in my larger bags, because I probably won't see them again. Tacks? You can only get flat ones, so there again, I'm very careful about where I use my tacks. Ny-Quil is another thing you can't get here. I began to get worried this past week as I took Ny-Quil several nights so that I could sleep through my cold and sinus infection. I looked in my medicine cabinet and did the math on how long my Ny-Quil supply will last if I get sick many more times this year. Going with the average number of colds per year, spread out over the last few years, I determined that my supply should hold through approximately two more colds and I breathed a sigh of relief. Glitter pens are not available here and as I have been teaching over the last month at the MK school, I have had to hold my breath and remind myself that I am an adult. I watch the little girls scribbling away with my glitter pens during Art Time and see that precious ink quickly dwindling away and I think, "Oh, color gently, little girl. You will use it all up in five more minutes at this rate!" And then I hear my thoughts and wonder if I'm losing my mind. Glitter pens? Really, Anna? You're worrying about glitter pens??!!

But as I walk down the street here and sit behind people on the crowded buses, I begin to understand my grandmother's mindset. You see, I was born in a time of prosperity in the States. Granted, my family didn't have much money when I was young, but we always had enough. But my grandmother went through the Depression. In addition to that she was widowed at a young age with two very young boys. She learned how to live on very little and how to survive. And I see much of that same mindset here. This is a country in unrest, where the average monthly income is $280 per month. So when my eyes take in the torn jacket sleeve hastily stitched back up, the threadbare socks filled with holes, the stocking cap ripped and still worn, I'm ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed that my mentality since I've been older has always been to just go get something new. I've never had to seriously do without and I've never had to repair and mend and fix anything over and over and over unless I really wanted to. I've never known poverty or hunger or fear of where I might be sleeping come tomorrow. And I've met all of that here; much of it with the students with whom we work. They look polished and presentable, yet their lives are falling down all around them and they fear for their country and for their future.

And while they contemplate if their country can ever be fixed, if their educations will ever get them a job, if they'll ever be able to support a family, and if there's any hope in this life, I sit here worried about my ziplock bags, tacks, Ny-Quil and glitter pens. You know, all it takes is just opening your eyes to what is going on around you, to bring a little perspective into your life. When I lift the blinders from my eyes, I'm ashamed of my goofy concerns and cares. I have everything I could possibly need and so much more. Instead of getting caught in ridiculous thoughts about dwindling gel pens, I want to be focused. I want to use this time(however long or short it may be) to pursue relationships here. Because people need to understand that they can have great hope and that hope comes from the Giver of all good things(even gel pens). =-D

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer. 29:11