Good grannies

I started out the day with a bang, or rather, a bang up. I had my first riding accident this morning. Yes, I'm fine. I just feel a little stupid, and am thankful that I didn't do serious damage to either myself or the bike. I talked my friend, Kristie, into doing the Greenway section of my ride with me, and as we were riding and talking, I turned around to look at her. I realized very quickly that I was way too close to an asphalt retaining wall on the narrow path, and that I was definitely going to collide with it. I also realized that I was not going slowly and that I had the possibility of ending up in a bad location, like the cement ground or the creek to my left. Fortunately, I controlled the bike and just ended up with some major scrapage(didn't know that's a word, did you?) and bruising on my upper right arm and calf. And amazingly, my brand new fancy, shmancy riding shirt(weather resistant, blah, blah, blah) didn't have a scratch on it. That's some amazing technology that can allow that wall to tear up my arm without doing anything to the shirt. I'm thinking my arm would be in much worse condition if I'd been wearing something else. Anyway, I'm ok. I was excited to finally get my bike odometer installed yesterday, so today was my first ride to see my true mileage. I thought that I was somewhere around 15 miles a day, but it turns out that I'm right near 17, so that's awesome.

Then this afternoon had me acting as chauffeur for my 87 yr. old grandmother, for my great-aunt's(her sister-in-law) birthday party. It was sad to hear her ask where we were going over and over, even though she's talked about this party all week. And then when we got there, she was completely overwhelmed by the social aspect of the situation and couldn't hold a conversation with anyone except her sister. But, I think she enjoyed just being around people, and she definitely enjoyed the ride over there and getting to see all of the beautiful Fall colors. And I enjoyed, as always, getting to spend a bit of time with my extended family, particularly my younger cousins, Laura and Rachel.

With my cousins, Laura and Rachel

With Gram

(Great)Aunt Ruth, (Great)Aunt Ann(the birthday girl), and Gram

Fall on the Greenway

I'm greatly enjoying my morning rides, particularly now that Fall has fully arrived here in the South. My goal is to do some kind of timed race in the Spring. We'll see. I haven't really begun to look into it yet, but I'm steadily working my mileage up. This week I moved up to 15 miles a day, so depending on whether I ride on Mondays or go to Zumba, I'm now getting in 75-90 miles weekly(with a break on Sunday). Since I don't run, I've never understood what the "runner's high" is. But I'm pretty sure I get it now. Not only do I thoroughly love my riding time, I get kind of upset if I have to miss a day. Plus, it's pretty amazing watching my body change from month to month. Now that I've switched to morning rides, I'm usually up and out the door by 7:45. Since it takes a while to ride that mileage I use that time to sing, pray, think through things, and just enjoy the nature. I also recently downloaded an Audio Bible onto my Ipod and started listening to it this morning. Did you know that in an hour and fifty minute ride you can get your prayer time done and listen to 53 chapters of the book of Psalms? I'm betting that I could just about listen to the entire Bible by the end of this year at that rate. This last Saturday I did my ride and then took my bike into the shop to get a tune-up. Since I didn't have it Monday morning, I decided to take my camera out on the Greenway to catch some of the beauty that I see every morning. Here are just a few of the photos, but if you'd like to see all of them, you can check them out in my facebook photo album labeled, "Come and take a walk with me." Facebook has changed their format yet again, so I haven't quite figured out how to attach a link for it here. Sorry!

Acceptance....

.....pt. 2 of Cross Cultural Servanthood, by Duane Elmer

Acceptance is the ability to communicate value, worth and esteem to another person

Romans 15:7, "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."

What does this acceptance look like??
*we are to take the initiative in showing acceptance toward others, making them feel valued and respected
*we unconditionally accept others without considering their external features, lifestyle, decisions, and so forth. (Note:acceptance does not mean approval.)
*we do not have the option of rejecting any person, though we may, in a culturally appropriate way, address behaviors that the Bible clearly addresses as sinful
*we are to eliminate our dehumanizing behaviors such as threats, intimidations, power-plays and other ungodly forms of manipulation
*we accept people-period; like Jesus, we must reject labels such as race, generation and gender as defective guides for how to treat another human being
*we expect that accepting others in these ways may cost us dearly

"Accepting one another may be one of the most powerful acts of love we can offer to each other because it promotes oneness.Oneness in Christ is so wonderful that the natural expression is to sing the praises of God. The world notices the healing love and wholeness of the body and sees a great and mighty God. They see His glory."

This new awareness of my lack of acceptance is rough, let me tell you. It's kind of mind numbing to think of walking around constantly judging people. It's even worse to know that we all do it, even when we're supposed to be serving those that we're judging! The part that really got me was how much missionaries judge the people, culture, and customs in which they find themselves. That part was like a big slap in the face, because I know it's so, so true. We go into other cultures, taking our preconceived western ideas of how things should be and how people should think and act, and rarely do we invest deep enough in the culture to truly understand why thing are the way they are. I've heard so many comments, but I'm only going to comment on my own superiority complex. For example, "Why is it so dirty, stinky, nasty, unhygienic, etc? Don't they care about(fill in the blank)? I can't believe that they still believe all of those old superstitions!" Ugh, I think of the many times that I laughed at people's fears of a breeze, an open window, a cold drink, or ice cream making them sick- even if it was only laughing inside of myself.  Or much worse, tried to prove to them scientifically that they were wrong. What arrogance, and what lack of ability to assimilate into my adopted culture. 

There's a thing in counseling called FIT, and it means that the counselor is identifying with the counselee. And I think that's the issue here; we, as people made in the image of God and created to love, are not practicing FIT. We're not identifying with the other person/people. No matter where we are, whether it be overseas, or sitting at a coffee shop, or walking down the street, we are called to love those with whom we're coming in contact. Why? 

Well, for these two simple reasons:
1)They're also made in the image of God
2)To point them to the One in whose image they're made

Judge not, lest you be.......? pt. 1

Street Scenes:

*a guy walks by, both arms in full tattoo sleeves
*girl in her 20's with a face full of metal
*young dreaded guy runs by, holding on to his saggy pants so they don't fall down
*young woman goes by in an extremely low cut dress- all eyes turn to her
*middle aged woman with slovenly appearance wanders by
*mother stands on the side of the street screaming profanities at her toddler
*three middle eastern men in turbans stroll down the street
*young, effeminate man stops to talk, sounding more female than male

What's the first thought that pops into your head for each of these scenes? Be honest.

"Do you know how long it takes a person to make a judgement when first meeting or seeing someone? How quickly does the average American determine whether there is a possiblity of a friendship between himself and the other person? Thirty seconds? A minute? Five minutes? How long?

According to a study of Americans, it took the average person between 2.4 and 4.6 seconds to decide if there was potential for a relationship.  As a result, we categorize people very quickly, and once categorized, we close our minds about them." *As a note, this happens unconsciously. We're not standing there trying to decide if we want that person to be our friend, or not.

So now, having read all of that, go back up to the top, to the list of people. These are not made up people. They're people that I observed while sitting at a coffee shop reading this afternoon. As I was reading the chapter in "Cross- Cultural Servanthood" that deals with Acceptance and Communicating Respect for Others, the author suggested that I try a test to demonstrate how quickly we judge others. And almost instantly, I understood the message he was trying to get across. Those that met my acceptance and approval based on their clothing, mannerisms, etc., I responded to in a different way than those mentioned above. And though I would be willing to talk to every single one in the above list, I had already judged them without knowing anything about them other than what I had observed in a split second. Now take this unconsious judging that is inside each one of us and take it to the mission field, where not only do we judge, but we judge in an even more uninformed way, because we, as foreigners, aren't from that culture and just don't "get it". Can you see how we can easily run into some big problems in communication?

"Cross- Cultural Servanthood, Serving the World in Christlike Humility", by Duane Elmer, is what I'm reading at the moment, and I'm pretty sure that it's going to go on the list of "must reads" for any missionary or person on their way to the field who might ask for my reading recommendations. Wow. It's already totally convicted me and opened my eyes more to the ways that we Americans go tromping in to foreign countries wielding our "superior knowledge" and ready to educate everyone on the "best way" for things to be done.

And that, folks, was just your intro. I'm pretty excited about this book. Stay tuned for more!

A Gaggle of Guests

Well, actually, there were only two. =-) But with all of the busyness, and trying not to neglect them, and keep them fed and entertained, it felt somewhat like a gaggle. We saw them both off at the airport a little while ago and so now I have a bit of time to write about my guest. My guest was a bit of a surprise. We had discussed her visiting and different dates that would be the best, but it was a bit of a surprise when I received a text message 2 wks. ago saying that she had bought tickets for a week that I hadn't suggested. =-D Nonetheless, I was glad that she was able to visit and it was fun having her here. Never would I have thought that one of my girls from Odessa would visit me in Charlotte. Yulya is one of the girls who was saved the Fall before I moved to Odessa and was an active part of my church, Living Hope, the entire time I was there. Though she wasn't one of the girls that I was responsible for mentoring, she grew attached to me, and would spend as much time at my apartment as I would allow her to. =-) She's been in the US working this summer and is now traveling around visiting friends. Since I was so busy over the last few days I didn't get to do a lot with her, but we did make it into Uptown one afternoon to take some photos, and she got to see what my typical day of study looks like- haha. She got dragged around to all of the activities and meetings that I already had planned, and even went to Zumba with me. She's not much into having photos taken of herself, but I managed to get one really good one of the two of us together, and then several fun ones that she took of me during our afternoon enjoying the art Uptown. Now that everyone's gone, the quiet has returned and things will settle down again. It was fun having her here, though, and letting her have the opportunity to see a bit of what my life looks like here.

 In the Green, Uptown

A wacky statue in front of one of the art museums

In the Green

I made a new friend. I think he likes me. 

Window dressing

Parties & Princesses

This last week has been super busy, and I've actually got lots of pictures to share! So before I get totally behind, I thought I should start with last weekend. Last week my best friend, Tapley, arrived for a few days because her mom was getting remarried. So I spent time with her and her family while they were here, went to the wedding, picked up a special guest(that will be the next post), PLUS we had the 32nd anniversary of Grace Bible Church. So not only have we been hosting my special guest since Saturday, we've also had the guest speaker for the anniversary, who's been staying with us since last Thurs. Add in having to write my first paper for my counseling class, plus my homework and other reading and well, it's been a bit busy around here. Alsoooo, I had my first radio interview about Missionary Care on Monday, and I'll enclose the link for those who'd like to hear it. I was super pleased with how it went, even though I, of course, forgot to cover a few things. It was a neat experience. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cwa-radio/2012/10/15/grace-caf#.UHtsO66LFOA.facebook If you go to it before next Monday, you can listen to it from the main page. If you go after Monday, you can find it in the archives.

With Taps at the reception

Look who showed up at church on Sunday....Princesses!!

 

And who doesn't want a picture with four princesses??

PTM, pt. 2

The theme for the Pastors To Missionaries Conference was "The Hour is Coming and now is....The Urgency of Caring for Global Cross-Cultural Workers." Every day was full, from the first session at 8:30am to the final one ending around 9pm or later every evening. Interestingly, I think that my favorite session and favorite speaker was our "Worship in the Word" leader in the mornings. I took more notes from his sessions than from any other. He concentrated on the fact that we must take people out of their problems and lead them to Christ. Every session with him was full of great questions to help us take people from their inner focus to the point where they are Christ focused. It doesn't matter what is going on in someone's team, area of ministry, or even their agency. Life isn't fair, or right all the time. People are broken humans who act out of their brokenness; some completely blinded to the fact that they're leaving a path of broken co-workers or those they're serving in their stead. Others deal with marital problems, depression, pornography, hopelessness- the list goes on. And often, agencies either turn a blind eye, or feel that they're stuck with the situation(particularly if the person is in leadership), or they deal too harshly with the person. The thing is, though, sometimes the issue is simply not in our power to fix- and so we MUST lead the person out of the path of bitterness, anger, and great hurt- to focus on where truth can be found. And truth and healing and forgiveness can only come through the power of Christ and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. I so appreciated the sharing that was done in the morning "Worship in the Word" sessions.

Every afternoon we had Workshops. The different workshops were: Listening in Spirit and Truth: The Ministry of Spiritual Direction; Tender Care; Teaching Others How To Do Conflict Well; Expectations, Processing the "Twangs" with Cross-Cultural Families; Using our Offensive Weapons in Member Care; Missions Systems Dysfunctions; Practical Responses to Sexual Temptation and Sexual Acting Out; Fathering a Fatherless Generation

The plenary sessions were:Urgency- The signs of Our Times; Shepherding the Nations: Our Member Care Legacy; Developing a Theology of Risk for Missionaries

A few snapshots of my notes:

-Why is the task so urgent? *shattered lives *nobody cares *increased pressures *the commission itself is urgent *too many are living on fumes

-We need to live and serve out of joy and overflow, not because of need

-We will inevitably struggle with life when we let circumstances define life, and not WHO God is.

-Always be on the prowl for Hope, Love, and Forgiveness

-Missionaries are ordinary people given extraordinary assignments that create special needs

-Good administration is a vital piece of Member Care

-People are our most important resource. They are NOT expendable